I had a real funky dream this morning. That isn’t anything new for me, since as far back as I can remember, I’ve experienced weird, almost psychedelic dreams. In this latest dream I had, my wife and I are driving a car inside a mall. I don’t know exactly why we thought it was a good idea for us to drive through the mall, but we came to regret the decision almost instantly. There were thousands of people just standing around waiting in line. The line went in every direction and nobody cared to move to the side when we were driving though. Which made the driving experience all the more frustrating. I turned to my wife and wondered out loud, what the hell are all these people standing around for. The wifey was completely disinterested and just fiddled around with her smartphone. The curiosity was killing me, so I set out to find out what this was all about. I noticed that the line went up the stairs that led to the second floor. So I turned the car around and drove it up the stairs, much to my wife’s chagrin.

The people standing in the line going up the stairs had to press themselves against the handrail in order to avoid getting run over by me. They were not at all pleased. The wifey was extremely embarrassed and pleaded for me to forget it and drive out of the mall before we hurt someone. But I would hear none of it. There was a mystery to be solved and I was going to be the one solving it. After getting cursed at by a couple of dozen people, we got to the top to the stairs.

I looked head and saw something that resembled one of those blast shield door that you see in sci-fi flicks. The door was one solid piece, and I figured that it rose up to let folks in. It was made of some kind of shiny metal alloy. But what made the door even more interesting was that it seemed to project a holographic image of letters right on its surface. It was listing the name of patients. I came to find out that all these people were waiting to see some family physician. I guess he must have been a real good one since he could afford to purchase Star Wars tech for his medical practice.

I got off the car to get a closer look at this door when the list of patients disappeared and a new message came on. I don’t recall reading what it said, but I got the impression that it was alerting everyone that was still waiting in line, that the doctor would not be seeing anymore patients that day. News spread fast and the entire mall let out this loud groan. Within seconds the mall, that just a mere instant before had been packed with waiting patients, was completely empty except for my self and a few stragglers. Even the wifey was gone. I called out for her, over and over again, but she was nowhere to be seen.

I started running around looking for her in what now was an abandoned building. Jess! Jess! I yelled out, but all I got was my own echo. It was all very Vanilla Skyish’. I bumped into a powerhouse of a woman. She was this tall, green eyed, beauty, with dark raven hair. She was about 6 feet tall, and about 200 pounds of muscles. Yet she had managed to maintain a very curvy, feminine figure. She wore this tight neon green tank top, and a pair of black cycling shorts. She was a sight to behold. I was terribly impressed. For whatever reason she walked up to me, picked me up and gave me a piggyback ride. I was smiling from ear to ear.

Next thing I know I am standing inside my grandparents old apartment in East Williamsburg. I looked out the window and I could see Metropolitan avenue down below. I walked through the apartment and found that my grandparents stuff had been removed from the closets and replace with the wifey’s clothe. I got real upset by this. I wondered why the hell would my wife get rid of my grandparent stuff without asking me about it first? They were dead after all and they deserved a bit of respect. The wifey had also made the mistake of not closing the closet doors after she had swapped my grandparents stuff with hers. That was a BIG no, no! Didn’t she know that closets doorways serve as a gateway to the other side? That was how spirits would cross back to the land of the living. By traveling through open closet doorways. I hurried around the apartment to close all the closet doors. I get to the one that served as my grandmother’s storage closet. When I reached for the handle to push the door closed, my wife jumps out of the closet dressed in one of my grandmothers old blouses. She had this blood chilling smile on her face. And then I awoke. With my heart racing at a million beats per second.

I have never been one of those people that look for meaning in dreams. So I couldn’t tell you what all the doors, or missing people meant. But what I did take from my latest trippy escapade in the dreamworld, is that you don’t take a vitamin B6 tablet with your Nestle Strawberry Quick before going to bed. That shit will mess with your head.

I leave you all with the Dirty Projectors cover of an old Bob Dylan song. “I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine”. Have a good one folks.

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