Lately I’ve been spotting a lot of post about people writing a letter addressed to their younger selves. I’m sure that folks have been doing this since the day blogging became a thing; but I figured why not get in on the action. So it got me thinking. What exactly I would say to my former self?  Would I try to pass on sage wisdom? Would I give him incites to his future? Or maybe I would just clue him in on what teams to bet on in all future Super Bowls? This is my lame attempt at writing a letter to myself. Hopefully It won’t be too cringe worthy. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

Dear Tomasito,

Hey there kiddo. I know this is all going to sound really far fetched to you, but just try to hear me out. I’m you. Or is it that you are me? I guess the best way to put it is that we are one and the same, yet different. Confused yet? Good! What I am trying to say is that I am the future you. About 20 years in the future to be exact. If you are reading this letter, then there has probably been some kind of a rip in the space time continuum; most likely created when George Lucas sold the Star Wars Franchise to Disney. But don’t worry about that right now. Maybe I will tell you more about that in the next letter. But for now let me focus our attentions on things that are a bit more relevant to the both of us.

Let me warn you right off the bat, that you’re relatively carefree days are about to come to an abrupt end. Things at home are about to get really ugly. I know that you think that mom and dad kinda always argued, and that it is no real big deal. But let me tell you, Dad is about to kick things up a notch. It’s all gonna start with Grandpa’s death. I’m really sorry to have to be the one to break the news to you. I know how much we loved the old man. How it happens isn’t as important. There isn’t much you can do at this point to prevent it. However what you can do is try to be there for our dad. When grandpa falls ill, you are going to want to retreat a bit. You are not really going to know how to deal with his impending passing. Don’t fall into that trap. Allow yourself to feel what you are going to feel. Acknowledge the pain. Morn grandpa; after all there is nothing wrong with feeling hurt. Experiencing the death of a loved one is always painful. However you can’t let it get the better of you. Don’t push everyone away. Especially not dad. Not at that time anyway. Trust me, dad is going to act like a king size prick during all of this. But as much as it hurts you to not have Granpa around, what dad will the feels will be multiplied by several magnitudes. Don’t shun him. Be there for him. Hug him. Tell dad how much grandpa meant to you, to the family. Don’t be afraid to let him see you cry. Trust me, no matter how dad chooses to respond, we will, in the long run, probably feel much better about it. Don’t repeat the mistakes I made.

Next item. I know that you know about dad’s drug problem. Do not ignore it! Look kid, the truth is that he needs your help. You need to hammer into his head how much his vices are hurting the family. Make it abundantly clear to him how you feel. Tell him how much it scares you. More importantly make it clear to him that he does not have to deal with this on his own. That you will be there for him, and will do all you can to get him through it. Don’t try to sweep the problem under the rug. It’s not going to go away if you ignore it. He is our father after all. The least you can do is make an attempt to help him get clean. Where I come from dad was never able to kick the habit. It will eventually lead to the the end of our parents marriage. We became estranged from him. There where some violent confrontations between us. And he died an unimaginably sad death. I know that it might seem like I’m asking a lot out of a 15 year old. And in a way I am. But you will discover that life will rarely make things easy for you. Sometimes the choices that you will have to make will almost seem like a damn if you do, damn if you don’t type of deal. Especially in our case. But if you don’t do it, you will be left hunted by the idea of what if. Trust me, you don’t need that kind of thing weighing down on your soul.

Next order of business. Cut our mom some slack. Look she is one of those people that life chose not to give too many breaks too, and having you bitching and moaning in her ear  24/7 doesn’t make things any easier for her. I know you’re under the impression that she loves our brother Paul, and our sis Jennifer more than us. But as much as this might come as a shock to you, news flash buddy, that is not even remotely true. She genuinely loves the three of us equally. Perhaps if you would stop playing the part of the angry brooding teenager for one second, and would quit mouthing off to the poor lady the moment she looked in our general direction, you might actually realize this. She may suck at expressing how she cares about you sometimes. And she may lacks any sense of foresight. But when it is all said and done, no one will sacrifice more of themselves for your happiness and well being like that little woman right there. So stop being such a dick will ya’, and give the little woman a hug more often. Trust me, she could use the support.

I know how much you hate school. I get it. You find the whole thing ridiculously boring. Plus you get way too easily distracted by your thoughts to actually follow what’s going on in class. I know how much that annoys you. But that is only happening because you probably have ADHD. I know you are probably thinking, but isn’t that something only kids get? Well psychiatrist in the future will discover that you don’t really grow out of it. It stays with you. It just sort of evolves. So you go from being hyperactive to just being easily distracted. That’s why right now all you can do is think about pretty girls and comic books. Try to be a bit mindful about this. It will help you remain focused. Do the best you can in class. Don’t be afraid to ask our teachers for help. Just don’t stop going to class. Cutting school and hanging out with the fellas might seem like a whole lot more fun, but as cliche as it sounds, the only way you are going to escape the prison you feel like you are living in right now, is by getting that education.

In about 7 years, you’re going to meet the love of your life. And you are going to do it through the use of a computer. Yup you read that correctly. But the computers that you will be using at that time will be a bit more powerful than that green screened calculator that you are accustomed to using in the school library. You know that world wide web thing that you keep hearing about? That is going to take off big time. Everyone will be using it. You will be connected with people from all across the globe. It will turn out to be the most powerful information tool probably ever invented by man. But people will mostly use it to watch porn or to send send naked pictures of themselves to unwitting strangers. Let me just get back on the subject of our great love. You will meet her on On April 3rd’ 2002. She will be living in Chicago. Actually one of the suburbs of Chicago. She lives in the town of Cicero, IL. Home of Al Capone.  You guys will hit it off beautifully, in spite of the fact that she is a Bulls fan, and has some questionable taste in music. But I’m telling you, do not let that discourage you. She will save your life someday. And if by any chance I’ve altered the timeline by giving you some of that other advice, then you make sure you go to on the date I gave you and look up Delunatic. Trust me, you will thank me later.

I’m sure you are finding all this a little overwhelming for you. You are probably asking yourself, WTF? Oh, sorry I forgot. You don’t know what WTF means. Well it is an acronym for What the fuck. You see in the future we all become too lazy to spell shit out or speak in complete sentences. So we shrink everything down into quick, catchy acronyms that everyone understands. It primarily started as a way to keep our text messages short. Wait, you don’t know what a text is either do you? Ok you know how everyone has a pager in your time? Well that went the way of the eight-track. In the feature we all have super powerful cell phones. More powerful than the computer you will use to meet our future wife. And the cell phones don’t look like the bricks that the drug dealer be having. No sir, these cell phones are lite, sleek, and have 5 inch displays. Oh and you will be able to surf the world wide web on them too, and send electronic mail, and take pictures, and have long typed conversations with other people, also known as textings. You will do just about everything with that phone, except make actually phone calls.

Is there anything I’m leaving out? Huh-mmmm There is going to be three Star Wars prequels. Don’t get too excited about them. You will be let down. There will be a new Indiana Jones movie too. But Indy will be old. And he will go hunting for crystal skulls that turn out to be alien heads, with the greaser son he never knew he had. It stunk. There is going to be three live action Transformers films. But the Transformers in the movies will not look anything like their cartoon counterparts. As you may have already guessed, that sucked too. A movie is going to come out called The Matrix. It will not suck. But the subsequent sequels will. In the 2000’s there will be an explosion of Superhero movies. Thanks to giant leaps in CGI, the FX in these movies will be awesome. Batman, Superman, X-men, Avengers, will all be featured prominently. You are going to get one hell of a kick out of it. You will still be reading comic books. But they will be digital. Video games are gonna rock. The world wide web will expose you to more music than you ever thought imaginable. The NY Giant’s will lose a Super Bowl, but will then go on to win their next two appearances against the New England Patriots. It will feel oh so good. The Mets are going to perpetually stink. When they aren’t being bums, they will lose a world series against dem’ damn Yankee’s. As for the NY Knicks, let’s just say that in the 2000’s they will have you clamoring for the heartbreak of the 90’s. It’s that bad. And whatever you do, do not go outside or turn on the TV for about a week after 9/10/01. The next day the world will take a strange dark turn. For once we will be better off having our heads buried in the sand.

You will move to Chicago, get married in Mexico, and will vacation in Montana. Our life will take some interesting turns my young friend. Just remember that no matter how hard it gets, don’t ever lose hope. You are tougher than you know. If there was one last thing I wanted to leave you with, that would be to try not to take life so seriously all the time. Don’t be afraid to live a little. Stop being so jaded. Life can be a whole lot of fun, if you are willing to allow yourself to enjoy it from time to time. And please, for the love of God toss all that shy shit to the way side. It won’t get you anywhere. Let people notice you. Don’t worry so much about the people that might reject you, because it is the people that take notice that will make all the difference in your world.

Take it easy Tomasito. And see you in your tomorrow.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s